Now You Know!
by TDI Charlie Brown
Summary: Anne Maria learns a very important life lesson with help from a special guest star!


**Chapter Only – Now You Know**

**A/N – Okay, this is not something I normally do. Ever. My stories aren't normally THIS short. But the idea popped into my head and I couldn't stop laughing at the thought of it, so I decided to share it with the rest of you. I hope you all find it as funny as I did. **

Zoey hummed to herself cheerfully as she finished preparing popcorn for herself and her new friends at playa de losers. The fourth season had finally come to an end with Brick winning the million dollar prize after a hard fought gladiator battle with Jo. The two proved to be of equal strength and skill in battle, but Brick's cadet training gave him the upper hand and helped him to prevail in the end. Now, everyone was enjoying themselves as they relaxed and took in the beauty that was playa de losers.

After finishing the popcorn, Zoey threw a handful into her mouth and took the rest out to the pool area. There, B was silently finishing setting up a giant projector that was connected to a television he had managed to build out of some scrap metal in the dumpsters. He attached a few more wires and the job was done. The screen came into view as it showed a football game being broadcast.

"SHA-YEAH!" Lightning cheered. "Lightning's been dying to see this game all year!"

"Ugh," Zoey sighed. "Can't we watch something else please? I heard that new MMA promotion was coming on today!"

"You ARE into Ultimate kick-boxing!" Mike exclaimed happily as he pulled Zoey close to him affectionately. "It's official: I am SO going to marry this girl!"

Everyone rolled their eyes as the couple began to whisper sweet nothing to one another.

"How about a nature show?" Dawn suggested. "Seeing the wonderful creatures of this world in their natural habitat has always brought a smile to my face. True, it's not the same as actually seeing it in person. But given the circumstances, it'll suffice."

B nodded in agreement as he put an arm around the nature girl. The two had grown quite close to one another during their time at playa de losers and had decided to go out, making them the third official couple of the new contestants.

"Bah! You've all got poor taste," Anne Maria scoffed as she grabbed the remote control. "If we're going to watch anything, we're going to watch the greatest television show of all time!"

"Oh! I've always wondered what that was!" Cameron squealed excitedly. "What is it?"

"Simple," Anne Maria shrugged. "It's 'Jersey Shore'."

Instantly, the other twelve contestants gasped in horror.

"Dude! Are you serious?" Sam asked. "Are you TRYING to hurt us?"

"Dakota no want Anne Maria to hurt her," the mutated Dakota quivered as she grabbed hold of Sam and held him like a teddy bear.

"My third cousin watched Jersey Shore before I came to the island," Staci recalled. "His IQ went down 123 points. Seriously. I'm not lying this time."

All Scott could do in his current paralyzed, life supported state was beep his red button, indicating that he did not want to watch the said show.

"Ah, none of you know quality television when it's right in front of you!" Anne Maria snapped.

"Wrong Anne Maria! You're the one that has poor taste in television programming!" a mysterious voice called out.

The thirteen ex-contestants glanced all around playa de losers, trying to find where that voice came from. None of them would have to look for very long as the individual that owned the voice in question appeared before the thirteen contestants.

The teenagers marveled at how strong and dignified this person looked. It was obvious it was a man by his build. It was even more obvious that he was a member of some special United States military force by the clothes he wore: a dark green fedora hat; an army green shirt; camouflage pants; army boots; and a bullet vest loaded with bullets.

"Holy cow! It's Flint!" Brick squealed in excitement.

Flint nodded at the cadet briefly before turning his attention back to Anne Maria.

"You're friends are right to caution you about Jersey Shore," he lectured. "Watching that show can cause severe damage to the human brain."

"Yeah? How so?" Anne Maria questioned.

"Well, statistics show that watching a show starring a group of people as immoral and vile as this group can have a negative influence on the person or people watching it. We live in a society today where visual media forms like television can influence a crowd as to what is an appropriate way to act in public, at home, or with a group of friends. And if you watch Jersey Shore, you will slowly begin to think that it's okay to sleep with anyone you meet anywhere anytime. Or that it's okay to drink as much as you please and that it's okay to be drunk in public. Not to mention the possibility that men will think that if they sleep with a lot of women, they're considered studs whereas a woman that sleeps with a lot of men is sleazy."

Anne Maria opened her mouth to retort at the military personal, but found that she could not defend her side of the argument. Everything he was saying was true.

"Statistics also show that people who watch Jersey Shore are more likely to act disrespectful to their parents, their friends, and even authority figures. And all the while, these people will think that it's an acceptable thing to do simply because they reside in the New Jersey area and that they are exempt from following rules that society has placed on them."

"That's right," Mike added. "Not to mention the viewer is subject to having to see body parts that are not mean tot be broadcast on television. Thus adding to the illusion that it's acceptable to dress immodestly in public."

Anne Maria sighed as she hung her head in shame.

"Thanks everyone," she finally said. "Now I realize how wrong I was to idolize this show and to want to be like the people in it."

"So what are you going to do now?" Cameron asked.

"Simple! I'm going to drop the whole Jersey act and go back to being my normal self! That is to say, an acceptable human being that doesn't demoralize myself for the sake of being on television!"

"That's an Anne Maria I can't wait to meet!" Sam said.

"Me too!" Lightning agreed.

"Great! From here on in, I'll never watch Jersey Shore again!"

Then, Anne Maria went up to Flint and gave him a hug of appreciation.

"Thanks Flint! Now I know!"

"And knowing is half the battle!" Flint added with a wink and a smile.

_**G.I. JO-E!**_

_**The following has been paid for by the Anti Jersey Shore Movement and furthered endorsed by the National Child Safety Council and Humane Society. **_

**Okay, so there it is. This isn't meant to be viewed as my most serious of works. It was just a little fun I had after watching some old GI Joe cartoons. (If you want to get a better feel of what this fan fiction is supposed to be like, go to Youtube and type in "GI Joe PSA Flint". It'll help you appreciate this more. **

**On an unrelated note, the next chapter of Codette is almost done. After that, I'm going to finish a couple one shots for some people. And then, after a long time, TDI Charlie Brown will be updated again! HORRAY! **

**That is all! Peace!**


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